Funny

"With the grace of God and a good lighting director, I plan to stick around for a good long time."
- Barbara Walters

"The best thing about getting old is that all those things you couldn't have when you were young you no longer want."
- L.S. McCandless

"My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of.. Lord-only-knows."
- Unknown

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."
- Sir Norman Wisdom

"If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes."
- Euripides

"I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up."
- Harry Hershfield


"Oh to be seventy again. "
- Georges Clemenceau

"Old people are fond of giving good advice; it consoles them for no longer being capable of setting a bad example."
- Francois De La Rochefoucauld

"I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old."
- Peter Gabriel

"Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while."
- Groucho Marx

"Authorities say brain cells may shrink, but they don't necessarily die. Frankly, I am cheered by the fact that something is shrinking. I'd be even more thrilled if what was shrinking affected my dress size, but you can't have everything.
- Erma Bombeck

"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, at my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
- Claude D. Pepper

"When it is birthday of a man, he takes a day off, but when it is birthday of a woman, she takes years."
- Unknown

"Becoming old is like facing penalty for the sin that is not committed by you."
- Anonymous

"Women are never sure about their ages, whenever asked from them,they seem so calculating."
- Unknown

"Person who keeps the birthday of woman in mind, regardless of her age, posses the quality of good diplomat."
- Anonymous

There is a world record that
I think that you will break
Some time in the next few years -
It's "candles on a cake."
- Unknown

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